Tuesday, 6 November 2007

What a pain in the arse driving round the SWC is..

"look missus I don't care how long you have been standing at this stop (the wrong one) for I ain't opening the doors 'cause this bus doesn't STOP HERE"

Despite being stuck in an eight bus long queue to get into Castle Square.

Anyone see the Argus? 20 MPH limit! If only I could get up to that speed, what with bloody delivery lorries strewn all along North St and Western Rd. It really pisses me off when people write in to the newspaper without a fookin clue as to how difficult the job is. I don't know about you but when was the last time you saw a bus travelling at a "ridiculous" speed (other than 1mph crawl) And I NEVER go through a red light unless it is dangerous to stop quickly because of the stupid old git with walking stick/shopping trolley/zimmer frame who insists on walking to the front of the bus whilst its moving despite their virtual inability to even stand up properly!!

I am feeling particularly vitriolic at the moment so look out

Saturday, 3 November 2007

Life Continues

So North Street is to reopen on Monday morning. I hope you all drive slowly and look out for the dumb shit pedestrians who don't know to look both ways when crossing the road!! Perhaps a full page in the Argus reminding the idiots about how roads are for vehicles and pavements are for pedestrians, and while they are at it they should mention that the little red man means DO NOT FOOKIN CROSS !!!

Actually they could use the opportunity to remind the car drivers still using the bus lanes that they aren't allowed to, the t**i drivers that Bus Stops are NOT t**i stops and cyclists that they are subject to the rules of the road too!!

As for them sending us around the south west corner, WTF is that all about ?? Just reopen the bus lanes and screw the fookin idiots who cant look before crossing. I can envisage serious problems with congestion when Pool Valley is closed for renovation.

OOOPs wrote this Sunday and forgot to post...

Saturday, 6 October 2007


It appears the personality of the month (what a joke!) left B+H a few years ago after his honesty was brought into question by "The Management".

You have to laugh.....

Wednesday, 3 October 2007

I Really Want to Kill Someone

A pedestrian most probably, or a T*x* driver or a cyclist.

Bloody pedestrians sauntering along without a care in the world..in the goddamn ROAD!!! Get on the pavement, for god's sake. Roads are for vehicles, pavements are for pedestrians.
I happened to get very close to knocking one down yesterday, they stepped out in the road, not looking, I sounded my horn, they turned and gave ME a dirty look!! They were the one in the f***ing wrong place.

Came across a cyclist , cycling Northbound in the Southbound BUS LANE!! jeez do they all have a death wish? You know, one even stopped at a red light the other day, shocked the hell out of me.

Taxis, every day, illegal u-turns, bad parking, stopping suddenly without indication (it seems the only time indicators are used by Taxis are when their hazards are on, usually stopped in the most awkward places!) It takes a special kind of dick to drive a Taxi (just like a 49 I suppose). Is it true you get a free lobotomy with your Taxi license?

Come on people, get a grip, we all have to share the roads, if you treat other road users with respect eventually you might get some in return.

Tuesday, 11 September 2007

Speed, Freedom and The Open Road

Motorcycles Motorcycles Motorcycles, the last bastion of freedom and self expression in a world of nanny states and cotton wool. Its such a shame that so many are ridden by absolute idiots!!!
Now don't get me wrong, I love bikes and some of my friends ride them (I had a go once myself too) but its not hard to see why so many kill themselves. Some of the riding I witnessed whilst walking around on the Ace reunion on Sunday was atrocious, filter through traffic by all means but at high speed!!

News on the blogging front is that the Brighton Stig has decided to wimp out and give up because "The Company" contacted him in an attempt to discover his identity.
I however will continue to tell it as it is and won't be swayed by "info-lies" or the weekly"noticeboards" weak attempts at the stifling of free speech and self expression!!

It is with some regret that I have to announce that a long standing driver at Conway street after years of getting at "The Company", causing them grief and even a short time in the union attempting to right wrongs has been asked to move on... , the final straw was placed on the donkeys back, when, one more pleb, filled with unrighteous indignation, stepped over the mark and pushed this poor driver into confrontation. You might have thought that "The Company" would have backed this driver but no, the Customer(Mr French's term, not mine) is always right.


Monday, 3 September 2007

Where Have all the Buses Gone?

I am told from reliable sources that Conway garage is a bit short these days, of drivers and buses!
Between 10 and 15 buses where reportedly off the road from Conway on Monday and Tuesday this week . A combination of lead swingers, summer holidays and defect vehicles.

If only all the fitters at " The Company" could be relied upon to do work on the vehicles to a sufficient standard as to keep them on the road! How often have you seen a fault get reported and the vehicle is consistently put back on the road with either a temporary fix or none at all?
That is until the problem becomes a bigger problem and the vehicle has to be taken of the road. I think a zero tolerance policy is called for, whereby any problem, however small, is fixed properly first time. Before long all the Buses would be in excellent condition and only in need of servicing as per schedule.(have I just answered my own question?).

As for the drivers themselves.... how often has the tired old excuse of "I'm Stressed" been rolled out as an explanation of their absenteeism? Stress is what you get in the trenches of WW1 or driving an not-so armored vehicle down the roads of Iraq!! You certainly don't get real stress driving a bus in Brighton!! Pissed off maybe, annoyed certainly, but stressed? I don't think so.

It was my misfortune today to be in the London Road at Preston Park, have you seen those freeloading scum at the site where the the trees once where and a building is soon to be?
"BEEB your horn if you agree with us" one of the signs says, I thought yeah right, and drive by quietly if you think we should get a bath, a job and stop taking from society and start giving something back!! Bloody tree huggers should get a life!! (and learn how to spell).

Wednesday, 29 August 2007

In Days Of Old

Remember when "refuse collectors" were binmen? and real men to boot?
They used to hoik a large metal bin with jagged edges on to their shoulder and march off down your path to the waiting lorry. Then manhandle it into the back shaking and bashing it as they went.
Not anymore!! Now they have plastic bins with wheels that have to be left at the edge of the road so the current pussys can roll them 3 metres to the truck and attach it on the back so the machines do all the work.
Have you noticed that the drivers of these trucks seem incapable of stopping in a position of minimum annoyance? It seems to me that they deliberately stop where they are in the best position to annoy bus drivers. Its not as if the wheelie bins are that hard to move around, why then can't the drivers move the few metres down the road that would allow other vehicles to pass?

On a completely different thread, imagine my delight to hear that the new Scanias might not be coming after all due to the builders going into receivership.
Never have I worked at a firm where the person who has to operate a piece of machinery isn't consulted before its bought.
You would think that someone ...anyone who got in the cab of a Scania, old or new, would have realised that something was not right! Don't get me started on the heater debacle from a few years ago, but whats with the cab layout? I mean, on the newer versions of this diabolical machine there is sooo much room on the right of the driver, but on the left, your elbows bang the door because its so close! On older versions you have to be a midget to drive it because the seat doesn't move back more than a few inches and the steering wheel is immovable too!!
Just for once I wish the powers that be in the company would consult the poor saps who have to spend all day in these buses as to whether they are suitable for the job or not.
I see on the news this morning that apparently the risk of stroke or heart attack increases with the amount of ambient noise. They say that anything over 50 Decibels could be harmful!
Does anyone else think it might be an idea to measure the sound levels on a Scania with plastic screens whilst driving a load of schoolkids about on a Friday afternoon?
50 Decibels!!! More like 150!!!

Sunday, 12 August 2007

To Many People?

So, it occurs to me, as I struggled once again to get in and out of the Old Steine Bus Stops this weekend, that someday soon the number of visitors to Brighton must have to drop. Why? Because surely to god if you don't live in Brighton and you came for a daytrip/weekend after struggling to get into the town, in a snails pace traffic queue, and then struggling at the end of the day/weekend to get out again , in the same snail paced traffic queue, that you might possibly, just maybe, not ever come again , at least in your car. What drives these mad people to sit for hours on end in barely moving traffic queues? Can't be the beach, its not even sand.The shops? same as everywhere else, perhaps its a subconscious thing..."the sun is out, must drive to Brighton, must drive to Brighton..."

Its the look of absolute annoyance on the drivers faces as the bus finally manages to squeeze out of the Old Steine bus stop and then positively zooms past the traffic in the bus lane up to St Peters church.

I notice that despite the councils' "We get 10 people a day caught in the Bus lanes, paying a fine" bragging, (10 !! I could catch that many in an hour) lots of people have started to use St Peters Bus lane to bypass incoming traffic.

Whilst I am on the subject of breaking traffic rules don't you think its about time we had cameras on the yellow boxes in the town? Bottom of North Street is always blocked on a Saturday and Sunday evening, Cheapside/London Road junction, every evening from 4 'til 6 and Sundays 'til 8!! £20 fine for blocking, it would pay for the new stadium in a weekend!!

Still the view as I crawl along the seafront couldn't get any better!!

Thursday, 9 August 2007

Sussex County Card

Pensioners, mmmm, now what is it with them and their pathological inability to tear off a ticket?

Its not hard, really its not, just grasp the ticket lightly, twixt finger and thumb and pull gently towards you. TOWARDS YOU!! Not to the top or bottom or sides, straight towards you.

You would think that some of them are expecting to land a Marlin or Spearfish, the way they take hold of the ticket and pull.I don't know what they expect to gain by grabbing on and pulling for all their might (even the little old frail ones)

I had one the other day, got half a ticket roll out before I stopped her, FOR GODS SAKE if it doesn't tear off why the F**K keep pulling !!??

Oh and Lord help us if you have a vehicle with steps, 5 minutes of puffing and straining,(you would think they were climbing Everest) followed by 2 minutes of looking for their Countycard, grabbing a ticket, screwing up the machine for the next persons ticket, then bitching about it, all the time the bus behind with the low floor and pneumatic step gets ever closer, and you still have it all again when they get off.
Its not like they are in a rush, they have got all day to annoy Bus drivers and checkout girls alike!!

While we are on the subject, whats with the people giving out these Countycards anyway? Its quite clear to me and my colleagues that the piss is being mightily taken here.
We have 20 somethings that sprint for the bus, leap on board, thrust their card in your face and ask for a free one its clear they are neither old or incapable.
WHY has it been deemed that they are suitable for a free travel card? I sure don't know!!

Monday, 6 August 2007


Well another weekend of chaos on the buses, caused by innumerable raging queens wanting to be seen as special. I always thought that they all wanted to be treated the same as everyone else? So why do they get a special parade?
God help anyone who just wanted to get from one side of Brighton to the other on Saturday, visit a sick Grandma in the RSCH? Live in Shoreham ? That will be two buses and a long walk across town !! Thank you.
Its about time this malarkey with closing off Brighton was stopped, Let the parade continue if it must but whats wrong with marching from the Dyke to Ditchling Beacon and back.
Same goes for the Kids Parade, whats wrong with parading along Madeira drive?
Its time we claimed your town back, its not like this in Bosnia!!

Friday, 3 August 2007

A New Anonymous Blog From A Brighton Bus Driver

Well greetings,

This Blog has been brought about by the absolutely scandalous treatment of my fellow Brighton & Hove Bus Driver Bloggers by the Company (that sounds sinister).

I am utterly bemused at the way The Company has treated these bloggers, after all they are only communicating their own opinions by way of their absolute right to free speech.

Warning and reprimands indeed, well you only have yourself to blame if you don't like what you read here in future.